I lost a good friend 2 years ago today. He and I crossed paths in church music more than 30 years ago here in Nashville. We became friends in music and business. On several occasions, I had the privilege of directing a choir and Bill would accompany us. It was almost intimidating for me to have him play because he knew music, he knew piano like nobody’s business and he made it truly “sing”. My directing job was always much easier when he sat at that piano. He was a master arranger, composer and you never felt anything but comfortable around this man.
I spoke with him about 3 weeks prior to this date in 2013. He seemed good – said he was under some pressure but was doing OK. I heard nothing from him that I don’t hear from others each week. But later I realized, what turned out to be my final conversation with him was different. Three weeks later, after leading music in his church, he stopped while alone and took his own life.
Bill’s sweet wife, Mary, wrote this today as she reflected upon the past 2 years of being a widow and single-parenting 3 college age/early 20-something kids: (shared with her permission)
I knew Bill was depressed. He took all the steps one takes to treat it. He took his meds and he was under a Dr.’s care. I asked him, “How bad is this? You would not take your life, would you?”…”Oh, No! Never! You don’t have to worry!” A colleague said to me, “They say what you want to hear. They are alone when they take their life.” Two years of looking back…what would our family have done differently? Dear friends, depression is real…anxiety is real…suicide is real. We must set the stigma of suicide aside and begin to talk…really talk about this option some are choosing to escape suffering. “Speak to one another.”
When I read that bold and honest posting today, my heart fell all over again. It’s been heart-wrenching for them and extremely sad for us who knew and loved Bill and admired his over-flow of talent.
Then she posted this photo:
Here is another case of hidden depression, anxiety and suicide from one of the great’s in my view in the world of comedy. My wife and I couldn’t get over how saddened we were when Robin stopped his will to live. We prioritized viewing his talk show appearances because he would “own” the time when he was there and always made us laugh – always! But inside, he had another story – a life of depression and he gave up. As Mary writes, depression, anxiety and suicide are real!
May we all be more aware of the hurts and pains of those around us and not get so caught up in our world that we can’t help others navigate theirs more easily.
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